I have a boyfriend. He’s sweet, funny, and makes me smile. On occasion, he pisses me off like crazy. But I like it. Lately, things have been rocky. Arguing, fighting, cussing. I can’t do anything about it though. He’s this guy that… I’m trying to impress. God.. I’m just realizing this as I type. Why am I trying to impress him? He’s already dating me, right? I shouldn’t have to constantly feel like I need to make myself more than I am. We’re completely different people. He’s popular, always goes out, knows all these people, parties, and doesn’t have any cares. Me, on the other hand… I’m a nobody. I keep to my friends, I don’t go out every night, I’m fine staying home, and I’m always worried about what’s happening. Why is he with me? Something I always wonder, every fucking day. There are far more prettier girls that would love to go out with him. I’m pretty sure he would drop me for the next pretty girl that talks to him. I don’t have the biggest boobs, roundest butt, perfect skin… I’m a B. I have a flat ass. I have skin issues. I’m… Not good enough. I feel like he deserves someone drop dead gorgeous. And that other girl is pretty damn close.. I can’t hang out with him every day. And it pisses him off. I’m not the greatest girlfriend and can’t make it every single time you want me there, but I can when I can. I have a strict family. They’re protective of me. But that just doesn’t seem like a good enough answer for him. Sometimes, I just want to run away. You know? Drop out of school and travel. Go across the country, then overseas. How amazing would that be? Ah… I want to escape. Run away. Leave. This town has restricted me from so much.. I don’t want to be in a small town for the rest of my life. I’m gonna go places and make it on my own. Damn straight. I feel better at the end of this.. Still a tad but worthless feeling, but I’m better. I need to sleep…

What’s wrong with me? I hate this. I just start crying out of nowhere. And for no complete reason at all. I feel like crap. I honestly want to break down, I want to just fall to the ground and cry until I fall asleep. But I can’t. I have to keep a strong image for the people around me. I thought I was done with this… These feelings. Today, I just wanted to die. This was a day where I wanted to yell, “Fuck life!” Does anyone else feel like this? Your life is going good, no worries, you’re surrounded with people you love, you have good grades, you’re getting along with your parents… Then it hits you. You feel depressed. Worthless. Like nothing even matters to you anymore. You want to step out into the road and get hit. That’s how I feel. It just comes on… And I hate it. I want to cry my eyes out. I just don’t think I care enough to grab tissues and attempt to hide it. I feel… Small and vulnerable.